Lost in Parenting

Emiko was asking me the other day, if I ask my son to do something, would he stop what he was doing, and come to give me a hand. She said her son would never be interrupted. Justin also added, guys can never be bothered. While my son is just start his teen, I said he is quite willing to help me.

I was wrong when I found out today I asked him to stop his drawing to do some reading. He normally listens to his father, since he just left for another business trip, so I tried to let him study more. He totally ignored me. After third times, he was still doing his cartoon, I was furious. I took his iPod, but he was still doing his drawing, I was too mad, I ripped his paper. He didn’t say a word, which made me even more pissed off. I throw his dirty cloths on the floor (I wasn’t quite myself at the moment, somehow hysterias). He went down stairs silently, and tried to reach his jacket. I couldn’t help, but saying if you leave, never come back. He left the house without his key.

My husband just called, and I told him I drove my son out of house. He said I shouldn’t have said something crazy like that. Started fell uneasy, I called his classmates, they said he hasn’t come to their places, and they promised to give me a call if they meet him. I drove around the street and his school; there was no sign of him. I was crying out in my car. It was cold and dark; I can’t think where he could be. Walk out to the back trail, I saw him head to home. He said because I asked him to go, so he went out.

His classmates kept calling in asked if he was back. Even the parents said they were about to jump to the car go find him. I expressed my gratitude to their help, and then hung up the phone, all of a sudden, I felt so vulnerable, and my tear couldn’t stop. He hesitated to go upstairs, watching me in my sadness. A few minute later, he said, “Mom, I am sorry”. I said “it is good you are okay, just go to sleep”.

Why parenting is so hard. My sweet little boy today walked out from house. I am startled. He has the exact same personality as mine, too stubborn and arrogant, no need to teach. Am I too hard on him, I am confused.